Saturday, August 22, 2009
This is my world, Deal with it!
Hello world. Welcome to Confessions of an Aspergian. The incredible online reality show where we look at the lives of a very interesting and extremely crazy family of Aspergians and one old lady trying to hold it all together. Staring Scott Crawley as the Aspergian who has lost all his marbles so he's switched to playing poker! His two Aspergian kids Tony and Tristyn with all the normal wild and cute antics of children plus a few creepy surprises thrown in. Also staring Patrick Crawley, Scott's abusive Aspergian father who's got issue's all his own. Pauline, his otherwise normal mother who eventually will lose it from trying to keep this phyco family on track and in control. And Finally Dawn, the abusive ex-girlfriend/babymoma who wants her family back at any cost! That word creepy up there.......that's funny. In school I used to be called Creepy Crawley! Maybe that's what the show should be called. The Creepy Crawley's! Alright, I hear ya. Enough fantasizing. Back to reality. Well at least mine. Sometimes I feel like I'm living in two worlds. Sometimes this world seems more like a bad dream to me and my real world where I'm more normal and accepted happens after I go to sleep. I wonder if anyone else feels like that. When I dream it seems like I can do so much more and I'm such a better person. Then I wake up and it's back to the nightmare! I don't know, maybe the drugs that the phychs have me on make me feel the way I do, maybe it's because my mind is gone, maybe it's just my Aspergers, are you tired of me saying maybe yet? Sorry, just seeing if you're still with me. So the kids have had supper, my daughters sugar has been like a ping-pong ball today, up and down extremely. It scares me on days it's like that. I don't want to lose her. I feel sorry for parents who lose their kids before they go. My mom's probably scared like that now for me. But I'm still going, day by day. Ignoring or avoiding my suicidal impulses and doing my job. Living my life. Yeah, you're right, I'm doing this writing to fight off those impulses. Mom's talking to me about my ex sister-in-law now cousin-in-law, sounds mighty redneck,huh? She's worried about my cousin cheating on her. I don't know if he is or not, but I know I couldn't handle all of the relationship drama with my mind and it's present state. The state of insanity :) I just couldn't handle it. So, has anyone figured out exactly what kind of world mine is yet? Send in your emails, your comments, your im's. Good or bad, I'll take 'em. Tell me what you think. Should I continue my writing?Does anyone really care? Or am I just a waste of web-space? C'mon world, hit me with your best shot.