Sunday, August 30, 2009
Another sleepless night
The nights that my mind won't let me sleep are hell. Most of the time it's like my poem that I posted, "Haunted by the past." My mind turns into a video projector and starts running the movies of my life. It always turns out to be a drama/horror film instead of a comedy. As I lie there in bed I occasionally drift of into the rem realm. But my mind doesn't stop, the memories get distorted into a nightmare and I wake up swinging or kicking or running, etc. I hope last night was better for all of you! I sincerely do. I'm meeting and becoming friends with many people from many different areas of the world with many different views on autism. I want you all to know that it doesn't matter to me what you think. I am not saying I'm right by believing that autism is genetic and is evolution. This is just what my mind has to go by according to my life experiences. I welcome your opinions and views. Change my mind if you can. I think however, that we all should focus more on what to do next, how to handle our autistic society and where it will lead us, rather than figuring out who or what's to blame. This is a brave new world for the autistic. More and more of us are coming out of the closet every day. Where do we all go from here. Where ever it is, it should be together, as a group, with the goal of making this world better for every autistic person on the planet. Together there's nothing we can't do. Thank you all for being my friends. Thank you for reading and caring. I still feel like there's so much of this world I do not understand. So many people in it I can't figure out how to communicate with correctly. I know there are many more like me out there struggling to fit in at work, with people you consider friends, maybe even your companions or partners. I like what I am seeing on the net. I see more and more talk, people doing what I've been doing with this blog, screaming out to the world, "THE AUTISTIC ARE HERE AND WE'RE NOT GOING AWAY!" Trying to educate the normal people to have more compassion, understanding, and love for all of us. Trying to show them how talented we can be, how much we can do for our world, if only given a chance. Then again, who knows, this could just be another fantasy of my mind and how I'm interpreting what I'm reading. I could still just be a lunatic in a serious depressive state ready to end it all and looking for any sign of hope or change to keep me from that path. I don't know. I doubt anyone else does either. But once again, thank you for reading, my friends. Please take care of your children as I do mine. They're all we got!