God's Love Shines down on us all

God's Love Shines down on us all
I Love You All, Blessed Be

Saturday, August 22, 2009

This is my world, Deal with it!

Hello world. Welcome to Confessions of an Aspergian. The incredible online reality show where we look at the lives of a very interesting and extremely crazy family of Aspergians and one old lady trying to hold it all together. Staring Scott Crawley as the Aspergian who has lost all his marbles so he's switched to playing poker! His two Aspergian kids Tony and Tristyn with all the normal wild and cute antics of children plus a few creepy surprises thrown in. Also staring Patrick Crawley, Scott's abusive Aspergian father who's got issue's all his own. Pauline, his otherwise normal mother who eventually will lose it from trying to keep this phyco family on track and in control. And Finally Dawn, the abusive ex-girlfriend/babymoma who wants her family back at any cost! That word creepy up there.......that's funny. In school I used to be called Creepy Crawley! Maybe that's what the show should be called. The Creepy Crawley's! Alright, I hear ya. Enough fantasizing. Back to reality. Well at least mine. Sometimes I feel like I'm living in two worlds. Sometimes this world seems more like a bad dream to me and my real world where I'm more normal and accepted happens after I go to sleep. I wonder if anyone else feels like that. When I dream it seems like I can do so much more and I'm such a better person. Then I wake up and it's back to the nightmare! I don't know, maybe the drugs that the phychs have me on make me feel the way I do, maybe it's because my mind is gone, maybe it's just my Aspergers, are you tired of me saying maybe yet? Sorry, just seeing if you're still with me. So the kids have had supper, my daughters sugar has been like a ping-pong ball today, up and down extremely. It scares me on days it's like that. I don't want to lose her. I feel sorry for parents who lose their kids before they go. My mom's probably scared like that now for me. But I'm still going, day by day. Ignoring or avoiding my suicidal impulses and doing my job. Living my life. Yeah, you're right, I'm doing this writing to fight off those impulses. Mom's talking to me about my ex sister-in-law now cousin-in-law, sounds mighty redneck,huh? She's worried about my cousin cheating on her. I don't know if he is or not, but I know I couldn't handle all of the relationship drama with my mind and it's present state. The state of insanity :) I just couldn't handle it. So, has anyone figured out exactly what kind of world mine is yet? Send in your emails, your comments, your im's. Good or bad, I'll take 'em. Tell me what you think. Should I continue my writing?Does anyone really care? Or am I just a waste of web-space? C'mon world, hit me with your best shot.


  1. Scott,

    I like your writing especially your poems. My son has a world of his own too. Before he was diagnosed, he called it "Jared's World". Everything was fun in Jared's world. Everyone in town played the Wii all day! He wouldn't tell me a lot about it. When I questioned him about Jared's World, he shut completely down. I think he only told me the stuff he could trust me with. Now that he is on meds he doesn't talk about Jared's World anymore. I think you should consider writing a book too! I've always wanted to write one about Parenting an Aspergian....

    Take Care,


  2. I think you should continue to write even if you think nobody's reading it, which we are. I think you have an outlet thru your writing and I agree with Laura's post, you should write a book.

  3. "I'm doing this writing to fight off those impulses."

    That's as good a reason to write as any ;) And I continue to read. Funny (well, not really, but kind of) that you were called "Creepy Crawley" as a kid. I hadn't thought of that possibility until just the other night when I was looking at your last name and thought, "You know, I wonder if he ever had the nickname..." :)

    As to imaginary worlds, my son tends to include me in his--right now I'm Tinkerbell. When he's stressed or I'm stressed and therefore making him stressed, he goes into this other world, usually inhabited by princesses and Mary Poppins. And now my daughter's up. putting down the computer...