Wednesday, August 26, 2009
My only conclusion
I hope everyone is well today. As you know by reading my previous posts, I've been reflecting on past suicide attempts. They all happened at a period in my life where something very emotional was affecting me. Right now I don't feel that this is the case. I'm in a deep state of depression, I have been since last Thanksgiving at least, but there is no real serious drama going on in my life right now to make me feel this way. This thought is leading me to the answer that it has to be the anti-depressants making me feel this way. My trip to the phychs yesterday was really not a help. They took my stack of papers showing all my postings from this blog, told me to keep taking the meds in my current doses and let me go. So I feel like I'm not getting much help from them. They just view me as another patient to make money off from. I don't know what to do from here. I know suicide is not the answer so I'm sure I can continue to fight off the impulses even though at times they are very severe. I am just not sure if I should stop with the meds all together or not. I don't want to live like this, who would. It's hell going through life every day just wanting to die. I would appreciate any advice that anyone has on anti-depressants as far as what happens if you stop taking them. Does anyone think my depression will get worse? Should I stop taking the meds?
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Scott, please don't stop the meds!! I'm afraid it would make you feel worse. I tried going of of mine just to change to a NEWER & BETTER drug. I was going into it positive. I had been on the same drug for 14 yrs, then i seemed to need just a little something to help out, that's when my primary care physician suggested this new drug (He is on the board at Eli Lilly) so he says this drug is great. I had to go off of the original drug for about a week and then start the new drug. It was hell, Don't do it!! Even after the new drug kicked in it was still hell. I had to again go off of the new drug for a week to go back to the original old drug, this was not worth it to me. I have a very loving and supportive family and it was still a living hell. I won't try again, But I guess it isn't the same for everyone. My 20 yr old son (Aspergers diagnosis @ 13yr) went off of his 2 meds when he dropped off of our insurance at 19 yrs old. He ended up going to the Dr. and getting on a new antidepressant, he opted not to take the anti-psychotic this time. he is doing well, they did up his dose last month but he does seem to be doing better. He still doesn't work, but he is showing an interest in maybe learning to drive. He wouldn't even attempt the thought of driving without his meds. I know this is only one suggestion, but maybe you'll get enough answers to help you decide. Good luck and I hope you feel better,I have been there so I know how bad you want to feel better. Also, I also took my 20 yr old out of school when he was in 4th grade. You are right about the schools, we tried public and then a christian school that said they really would work with us, They ended up asking my son Scott to leave the school, even making my other son leave too. My child was so much happier not having those daily meltdowns! Good luck with your son too.
ReplyDeleteScott,
ReplyDeleteStay on the meds! Don't go off of them alone! You need to be supervised by a physician when you go off. Some of these drugs you have to be weaned off of. I would suggest maybe getting a second opinion. I would especially look for a Dr. who specializes in adult autism. I'm glad to hear that you are managing the impulses. I think you are doing great! Keep writing! I love to hear from you!
Take Care,