Wednesday, August 26, 2009
My only conclusion
I hope everyone is well today. As you know by reading my previous posts, I've been reflecting on past suicide attempts. They all happened at a period in my life where something very emotional was affecting me. Right now I don't feel that this is the case. I'm in a deep state of depression, I have been since last Thanksgiving at least, but there is no real serious drama going on in my life right now to make me feel this way. This thought is leading me to the answer that it has to be the anti-depressants making me feel this way. My trip to the phychs yesterday was really not a help. They took my stack of papers showing all my postings from this blog, told me to keep taking the meds in my current doses and let me go. So I feel like I'm not getting much help from them. They just view me as another patient to make money off from. I don't know what to do from here. I know suicide is not the answer so I'm sure I can continue to fight off the impulses even though at times they are very severe. I am just not sure if I should stop with the meds all together or not. I don't want to live like this, who would. It's hell going through life every day just wanting to die. I would appreciate any advice that anyone has on anti-depressants as far as what happens if you stop taking them. Does anyone think my depression will get worse? Should I stop taking the meds?