Dazed and Confuzed

Hello my friends. All my love to you and your families. I have felt lost as of late. A little depressed but I'm doing my best to keep my thoughts positive. I am so happy to have the online friends I have on facebook otherwise I'd have none. I tried to use myspace to find friends in my area to hang out with in real life, but to no avail. Even online socialization skills are a problem for me. People on facebook have accepted me no matter how bizzare I seem or the things I say. People on myspace won't give me the time of day. I'm still going to my mental health appointments and I'm still on my medication. I feel that it does help, but there is nothing out there that can help with the feeling of being alone. For awhile I felt really connected to the creator above and felt like I had a purpose in life, but now no matter how hard I try, I feel disconnected. I don't feel like the whole thing was in my mind, I have seen too much evidence that I was receiving help from above. So now I feel my lack of effort to stay off the beer and cigarettes has caused this disconnected feeling. With my computer down until the new hard drive arrives, I don't have as much time to talk to people that seem to care about me online. I don't know. I feel very alone at this moment in time but still look forward to better days when we can all just live together, love one another, and share. That's what we're taught by our parents, to share with each other. But when money takes over our lives we all become very selfish. I wish money and this whole system of things would just disappear. It is so hard being autistic emotional wise. I can handle the lack of coordination, or other physical aspects, but being over-emotional sucks. The other day I saw my son Tony break down into tears over a game of solitare. Certain things on the tv will still make Tristyn break down into tears, including seeing a cartoon character cry, which happened on Ni ho Kai Lan the other day. I feel very sad for them as they are going to have to deal with these amplified emotions, taking on other peoples emotions, not understanding, etc all of their lives as I have. But to you, my online friends, I wish to say that I am glad to have you and glad that you accept me for who I am. Have a great day! Blessed Be